WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Comments posted to a porn site by the Republican gubernatorial nominee Mark Robinson are virtually identical to passages that appear in Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation acknowledged on Saturday. “When we were assembling Project 2025, we cast a wide net for good ideas, and the website Nude Africa was one of the places we looked,” Heritage Foundation spokesman Harland Dorrinson confirmed. “We had no idea who the author of those comments was, but we were like, ‘Whoever this guy is, he must be some kind of genius.’” The notions lifted from Robinson’s comments and inserted into Project 2025 include “an embrace of Nazism, a return to slavery, and, of course, the secret surveillance of women. It’s hard to believe that Mark came up with that last one when he was only fourteen.” The Heritage Foundation spokesman apologized for failing to properly attribute Robinson’s “brilliant material” in Project 2025, but promised that he would receive “full credit” in all future editions. |
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